It’s okay…judge me, call me names, don’t respect my sleeping habits and call me while I sleep.
I am okay with it now. A few weeks ago, the after 9 PM phone calls/texts would get me pissed off in the morning when I saw them. This morning…I laughed.
I just finished reading an article about toxic attitudes. It was a good reminder for me that I cannot control how others treat me, but I can control my response and my attitude. I do not have to let those toxic thoughts devour me anymore. It is freeing to let go. Of course, I know I will have set backs…I always do. That is a part of life.
“I’m not good enough.”
When you catch yourself in a cycle of self-hate, you must remind yourself that you weren’t born feeling this way. That at some point in the past some person or experience sent you the message that something is wrong with you, and you internalized this lie and accepted it as your truth. But that lie isn’t yours to carry, and those judgments aren’t about you. And in the same way that you learned to think negatively of yourself, you can learn to think new, positive and self-loving thoughts.
You can learn to challenge those false beliefs, strip away their power, and reclaim your self-respect. It won’t be easy, and it won’t transpire overnight. But it is possible. And it begins when you decide that there has to be a better way to live, and that you deserve to discover it. –
“This (and everything) is personal!”
People are toxic to themselves and others when they believe that everything happening around them is a direct assault on them or is in some way all about them.
Of course, it’s easy to feel unloved and unwanted when people aren’t able to communicate and connect with you in the way you expect. And it’s so hard not to internalize that disconnection as a reflection on your worth. But the truth is, the way other people behave and function is not about you.
Most people are so caught up in their own problems, responsibilities and struggles that the thought of asking you how you’re doing doesn’t even cross their mind. They aren’t being mean or uncaring – they’re just busy and a bit self-centered at times. And that’s OK. Don’t attack them for it. It’s not evidence of some fundamental flaw on your part. It doesn’t make you unlovable or unworthy. It just means that some people aren’t very good at looking beyond their own egocentric bubble. But the fact that you are – that despite the darkness you feel, you have the ability to share your love and light with others – is an incredible strength.
Read the entire article here: 12 Toxic Attitudes That Push Happiness Away From You
It’s hard to keep things in perspective. Sometimes, everything can become so overwhelming. And I will not allow these thoughts, and more keep me down. The other weekend when I went camping, it was so relaxing. It was refreshing not having any demands placed on me. I was just able to be myself and enjoy life around me. It was the first time walking around the lake for my friends, so of course, we had to sit on the best tree ever for a photo opp.
I just have to remember: I am enough. And I have spent years becoming who I am. Although I will probably stumble along the way (I have stumbled getting to where I am now), I will not allow anyone else try to control or dictate who I am. So, you can call me names when I go to bed at 9 o’clock on weekdays. Call me “granny” and see if I respond. You may think you are being funny, but in reality, you are not and I don’t have to sit there and take it. You can call me at all hours of the night and pout because I don’t pick up, whether it be at night, or on the weekend when I am out enjoying my life. I don’t need to be made to feel guilty because I am not available for your beck and call.
And let’s face it…at the end of the day, the only person I need to be able to live with is myself.