“Why are you getting upset? I am only joking!”
I’m sorry I’m not sorry, but excuse me? I am only joking too.
Why is it that when guys joke about women being “sluts” or “bitches” and complain about being put in that stupid “friend-zone,” and a girl gets upset with those terms, suddenly its hands-up, slowly back away and muttering “I’m only joking.” All the while muttering something about that time of the month under their breath.
And then they wonder why my vision turns red and my blood pressure goes through the roof. And this isn’t just a one way street, mind you. There are plenty of women out there that use the term “man whore” regarding men’s right to say yes and using “friend-zone” just as frequently. This is why I need feminism, why we all need feminism.
Feminism: the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities.
Did you read that correctly? Feminism is “the believe that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities.” I read that definition and I feel hopeful. Maybe if people will start treating each other equally, I won’t get asked when am I going to get married and start having kids. Maybe if women aren’t seen as soft creatures or extensions of their man, I won’t go cross-eyed the next time I get told that I need a man in my life. Maybe when I say “I don’t want to have kids,” I won’t get looks ranging from dirty to shocked. Oh and my favorite, the response: “you will change your mind.” Fuck I will. I have been saying this since at least middle school. I knew when I was twelve years old (or younger) that I didn’t want kids. Suddenly seventeen years later I am going to change my mind? What really kills me about this is my own family (not my parents of course) has made comments about this. And I cannot forget the kind words: but you’d make a great mother. Thank you. I am sure I would make a fantastic as fuck mother, but that doesn’t mean I want to.
This doesn’t mean, however, that I hate kids. I love kids. I love all my nephews and nieces (including my friends kids who I count as mine). I love being able to do things with them and play around with them. I love having the energy to do these things when I am around them. Then I go home and collapse into silent bliss of a kid-free zone. Let me expand and say, there is nothing wrong with wanting kids. I am not attacking people who want kids at a young age (which some people think I am when I declare I do not want kids, which is weird to me), or who want kids at any age. I just know that it is not for me. This is why I need feminism. Because I am a woman, I am supposed to be maternal and shit. I am not. I may be protective and loving, but never maternal.
Maybe I am just tired. Tired of being told I am being over-sensitive when given a compliment that is really an insult. Tired of being opinionated equating to being a bitch.
But then I sit up a little straighter and remember: the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. And I can’t help but smile and remember: