“You heard me rapping, right?”

My sister-in-law put up on Facebook the other day of a picture of two hands; one holding a red pill while the other held a blue pill. One was to go back in time and fix all your mistakes. The other was ten million dollars cash. Although going back and fixing all my mistakes is a tempting offer (if possible), I don’t think I would go back if given a choice. Even if the choice was going back or nothing. I would pick nothing. Not including the one thing I would change if I could. I would give up everything to be able to change one day. Because my past is what makes me…me.

Looking back at all the stupid decisions I have made has led me to this spot in time. I have a job I love (yay for getting out of insurance) and I am finally feeling like I am in a good place. I feel like myself. Sometimes I wake up and wonder if today is the day my soul crushing depression will come back. Some days are better than others.

I feel like I am rebuilding myself. I spent years in darkness. I let the anxiety take control of me. I am pretty proud with myself. Instead of saying no and giving in to the anxiety of the unknown, I said yes and had a great time carving pumpkins last night.


I also got my ass handed to me in Foosball! Which was also a lot of fun. I forgot how much I royally suck at Foosball. But it doesn’t stop me from wanting to play. Stupid reflexes.wpid-20151029_230414.jpg

Seriously though…look at this pumpkin.

Yay for pumpkin carving traditions!

And now it is Friday. My bosses asked yesterday if we were dressing up for Halloween today. My co-worker wants me to dress up in my Peter Pan costume. I better hurry up and figure out if I am actually doing it since I have to leave for work in about twenty minutes.

It’s either that or my Jack Skeleton dress….or regular clothes and my Jedi robe. Oh, or my Doctor Who skirt and a Doctor Who t-shirt.

Oh the choices in front of me.

I hate choices sometimes.

But I do love sticking pumpkin guts up my nose.



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