My sister-in-law put up on Facebook the other day of a picture of two hands; one holding a red pill while the other held a blue pill. One was to go back in time and fix all your mistakes. The other was ten million dollars cash. Although going back and fixing all my mistakes is a tempting offer (if possible), I don’t think I would go back if given a choice. Even if the choice was going back or nothing. I would pick nothing. Not including the one thing I would change if I could. I would give up everything to be able to change one day. Because my past is what makes me…me.
Looking back at all the stupid decisions I have made has led me to this spot in time. I have a job I love (yay for getting out of insurance) and I am finally feeling like I am in a good place. I feel like myself. Sometimes I wake up and wonder if today is the day my soul crushing depression will come back. Some days are better than others.
I feel like I am rebuilding myself. I spent years in darkness. I let the anxiety take control of me. I am pretty proud with myself. Instead of saying no and giving in to the anxiety of the unknown, I said yes and had a great time carving pumpkins last night.
Seriously though…look at this pumpkin.
Yay for pumpkin carving traditions!
And now it is Friday. My bosses asked yesterday if we were dressing up for Halloween today. My co-worker wants me to dress up in my Peter Pan costume. I better hurry up and figure out if I am actually doing it since I have to leave for work in about twenty minutes.
It’s either that or my Jack Skeleton dress….or regular clothes and my Jedi robe. Oh, or my Doctor Who skirt and a Doctor Who t-shirt.
Oh the choices in front of me.
I hate choices sometimes.
But I do love sticking pumpkin guts up my nose.