Facebook does this “On this Day” thing. I don’t know why it notifies me every morning. There is probably a setting I can turn off. Anyhow, I open it up this morning and this picture greets me:
On this day last year was the start of our Grand Canyon vacation, which we started off with: HOCKEY. I miss the Grand Canyon. This year we are going to spend the week of Thanksgiving with family. Tomorrow is when we leave. This time we are driving instead of flying.
And to start of my vacation, I am driving to Nashville to see a Broadway Musical: How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Pretty exciting stuff. I will probably get less than three hours of sleep tonight. I am going to have to summon my college-age self and remember how to handle the lack of sleep. Last night my dad told me I am going to have to pick up my brother before we leave tomorrow morning at 6 AM. I just stared at him and then he told me that my brother wants to leave his car there so it looks like someone is home. And I was like oh that’s smart. So great, I probably won’t get home until after two in the morning and then will be getting up at 5 to go get my brother and then drive 9-10 hours tomorrow. Fun times. Dad said he could get him, but I said no, I don’t need sleep. I can do it.
I am trying not to freak out. I do not have to be a control freak tomorrow. I can let my brother drive. Or even my mom if she doesn’t mind. But then I have flash backs when we drove up to NY after my cousin passed away. It was my brother, his girlfriend at the time, and my soon to be ex. My brothers now ex didn’t have a driver’s license at the time, so I knew she wouldn’t be able to help drive. But I had two other warm bodies to help make the 12 hour drive to Syracuse. On the drive up at night, my brother had worked that day, so I figured he wouldn’t be able to help drive. Fine. One other warm body to help me drive.
I ended up driving 10 out of the 12 hours. All because my douche of so-called-boyfriend was too tired. I drove two hours, he drove two hours, and then I was the lucky ass hole that drove the rest of the way while everyone slept. Needless to say, I did not drive home at all the next day. I am still pissed off about that trip. I am sure I will never be able to look back at that and laugh. Ever.
So needless to say, I do not have much faith in getting help from others. Every time I seemed to need help in the past…I never got it. Unless it was from my parents or a handful of friends. I’m so used to doing things on my own. I’m used to being dependent on only myself. Yes, when a series of unfortunate events happened the beginning of this year and I had enough, I did move back in with the parents because I could. So I am not talking about my parents kind of help.
But, on to happy thoughts.
I get to go to my first Broadway Musical tonight!
And I will not be a controlling person who cannot ask for help! I can do this! Right?